Why not me and it’s not fair!

Since my last couple fairly optimistic posts the green eyed monster has come out in full force.

Today a friend of mine posted a picture on Facebook of her youngest son (who will be 3 soon) wearing a shirt that says “I’m the big brother”. Now, I wasn’t sure if that picture meant what I thought it meant or if it meant he was now able to wear his older brothers clothing. I am careful not to just assume that I know all because clearly I don’t (even if I like to think I do! haha).

It wasn’t until that picture was at the top of my feed again that I saw that people were saying “Oh I’m so happy for you! Congrats!” that I realized that the picture did, in fact, mean exactly what I thought it meant. Am I happy for her? Yes! But when you pair this with my step sister who announced a few weeks back that she also is pregnant and is due in December along with my husbands co worker who is due next month it gets to be a bit much.

*heavy sigh*

I try SO HARD not to be jealous and feel bed but it’s so hard when so many people around me can simply get laid to get pregnant. There isn’t thought about how they are going to finance the conception of their child. There isn’t the intrusive pokes, prods, vaginal ultrasounds, and worrying that this cycle might not take and the dreaded TWW.

WHY NOT ME?

IT IS, IN FACT, NOT FAIR!!!

She has three children already, why can’t I be the one to get pregnant easy this time?

I feel bad and damn it…I’m going to let myself feel bad. This fucking sucks!

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3 thoughts on “Why not me and it’s not fair!

  1. I know how you feel,although I am pregnant now it wasn’t easy and didn’t happen as fast as everyone around me. My first was a miscarriage and seemed like everyone around me was getting pregnant with healthy babies. It is true what they say as soon as you relax and not stress over it,it happens. I was getting ready to go on vacation so I wasn’t really “trying” b/c I wanted to be able to drink…what do you know right before vacation I found out I was pregnant. So worth not being able to drink. Your time will come.Throwing baby dust your way!

    • I appreciate you thoughts! Congrats!! You must be over the moon!! =O)
      It’s not as easy as all that for me though. I have PCOS so I never really ovulate and have weird periods. I conceived my first when I was 18 and he was not planned. I tried for 5 years with my ex husband to no avail and my current husband and I had to work hard for a year and a half before we got pregnant. I wish it was just as easy as having the lovings but it involves the help of technology….for whatever reason.
      To top it all off my friend text messaged me to tell me that her baby wasn’t planned but was a birth control fail.
      Blurg!!

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