More Than Just Punctuation

Not all that exciting but I am getting my period.

I got it right around the same time last month as well. For someone who suffers from PCOS this is a big deal. Here is why:

I didn’t get my period until I was 14. A lot of people say I was a late bloomer and I truly felt like I was when all my friends carried around tampons and pads. I know this sound weird but I felt left out almost like an outsider. It’s truly a rite of passage and I felt like I was failing at that.

I finally got my period on July 27 1989. I know that it sound odd that I remember the date exactly but it was on my Dad’s birthday and I was in Texas on a youth group mission. I remember being equally parts horrified and excited when I wiped and saw that blood. I called my dad and excitedly told him the news to which he replied “Great!”  completely unenthusiastically.

The next month I didn’t get my period again. I remember approaching my overly dramatic Mother and telling her that I hadn’t gotten my period again. She spun around from what she was doing and demanded to know if I had been having sex. I was mortified! “WHAT!? NO!!!” was my response.

She took me to the doctors for an exam. I don’t remember all that was included in this exam as it was 24 years ago but clearly remember the doctor telling me and my Mom that I would not have any children. I was sort of sad but sort of glad. It’s hard to gauge the true impact of that kind of statement when you are that young.

Imagine my surprise when in my senior year in high school I found myself pregnant. I hadn’t planned on having kids ever and I had plans for after school. Suddenly I had to change plans.

I’ve never gotten regular cycles and typically only gotten my period on average twice a year. You can imagine when I got married and actually wanted to have kids what a kink this put in my plans.

I’ve had my period about 4 times this year. It would be nice if, like some of my other friends, I could set a watch to my cycle but it’s not how it is. We keep asking ourselves in my cycle is trying to regulate and maybe it us but I doubt that it ever will.

This is my infliction. This is my burden.


4 thoughts on “More Than Just Punctuation

    • Ya know when I was younger I had this attitude that I didn’t want to have kids since I come from a rather large blended family and helped raise the youngers since I was the oldest. Looking back I think that was a defense mechanism to deal with the disappointment of news I had no idea how to wrap my mind around.
      I never was able to have a child with my ex and thank God!! LOL
      With my current husband that fear was HUGE because I knew how much he wanted to have a baby with me and I knew he’d be a fantastic father. It loomed over me daily and was especially heavy when I would get my period after a hopeful cycle of fertility treatments.
      It’s not impossible to have babies with PCOS as I am proof. I have two. A 19 year old and an 18 month old. It just involves a LOT of patience a lot of poking and prodding medication and time. Have you been through fertility treatments yet?

  1. I haven’t been through any yet as I am young but I know I want to have children (I raised my youngest sister) and I feel I could be a great mother. My fear is that when it comes to having children I wont be able to and so I wont be able to make a family. I get very worried as I have periods every 7-8 months meaning I have to be careful with my weight. I am currently on a diet to help loose weight so to increase my chances of becoming a mother but the worry is still in my mind. How bad are the fertility treatments if you don’t mind me asking , what do they entail?

  2. I believe there are varying degrees of PCOS. My mom has it as well and the only child she had trouble with conceiving was me. After that she had two more unplanned and has a regular cycle. So maybe you’ll be one of the lucky ones to have it reverse or lessen after your first baby.
    The treatments are ok. The worst part of it for me was what I called the hormonal rage. I’m typically an even keeled person but on the hormones I would fly off the handle and get really angry or cry at the drop of a hat. That was really hard for me to get over.
    The second worst part (and the part I hear a lot of women complain about the most) is the loss in privacy. Depending on what treatment you are doing you can go in for vaginal ultrasounds twice a week and at each appt they do a blood draw. So lots of poking and prodding.
    If you REALLY want a family and can’t conceive for carry to full term there ARE other ways of having children. If you want to email me we can talk more in depth about what the treatments entail and other options as well.

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