It’s Decision Time

November and December were horrible for me for a variety of reasons:

1. For some reason I wrenched my neck mid November during finals. I’m sure it had to do with stress as I tend to hold stress in my shoulders and there is no time to stress like finals. I went to the chiropractor who adjusted me and I felt better almost instantly.  I then wrenched my neck again the day after Christmas picking up after the mess. This time I went to the chiropractor for 2 weeks and NOTHING made my neck feel better so I made an appointment with my doctor. He prescribed Naproxin for the inflammation and muscle relaxers to help me get some sleep so my muscles can have a chance to heal. He also suggested I have breast reduction surgery as my issue is strictly muscular in nature.

I made an appointment with a plastic surgeon which went well and I started to get excited about finding cute bras to wear and wearing summer dresses but then *screeching halt* he said that if I have the surgery and then get pregnant and beast feed that my breasts will go back to their regular size and that it can greatly reduce my chances of producing milk.

*sigh*

So then the great debate with my husband began. He wants to have another baby but there are so many factors for and against. I won’t go into those right now.

2. Christmas was hard. I was totally fine and not feeling emotional at all until my cousin announced she was having a second baby. Don’t get me wrong I am so very happy for her and in fact I sent her a text message congratulating her but at the same time I felt very sad for me. My husband and I had to run to the Asian market and on the way there I had a really hard cry.

I don’t know. I just felt like it would have been nice to have a heads up from her. She knows what I have to go through and she had a bit of a struggle with her first. I know that it’s not all about me but dang. Ya know?

So my husband has been talking about career changes that would leave us without insurance. Due to the fact that the affordable care act states that we HAVE to have insurance we’d be eligible for insurance through that BUT through doing some research today I found that the state of Minnesota does not mandate that infertility has to be covered. This means that NONE of the insurance plans that are eligible to us cover infertility.

When I read that my heart sank. I just feel very sad like maybe I’m not destined to give my little a sibling. So I kind of think that maybe we need to step up our efforts to get pregnant while he still has insurance through his work. It’s not the best insurance but at least SOME of it would be covered instead of having it all out of pocket.

I’m not sure how things will work out but I know that no matter what happens they will.

From the movie Shakespeare in Love:

Strangely enough it will all work out.

How will it?

I don’t know it’s a mystery!

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